Rach
“There is something deeply spiritual about being a woman, especially when in the presence of other women. I feel a connectedness that is both ancient and new, like we’re part of a power that has bonded us for thousands of years and will continue to do so long after we are gone. It’s a power I cannot comprehend but am compelled to explore, leaving no stone left unturned.”
Rach’s optimistic aura and caring heart encompass all that she does, providing her with the ability to see the silver linings in hardship, embrace uncertainty, and foster strong relationships. Her drive and adventurous spirit constantly carry her outside of her comfort zone, allowing her to seek new and exciting paths to journey down. While channeling her spontaneity at every turn, she continues to live beyond the confines of expectation. Meet Rach. This is her story.
K: Please introduce yourself!
R: Kia ora, I’m Rach. I’m a kiwi from a beautiful little beach down in New Zealand called Ōtaki, now living it up in the north of Melbourne and absolutely loving life. I’m 30, flirty, and thriving!
K: Describe yourself in your own words
R: I’m a colourful free spirit who lives in the moment, says it how it is, and always looks on the bright side of life *whistle*. I’m a proud stereotypical Virgo and Hufflepuff (represent!) with the exception that I find great pleasure in spontaneity and I’m about as patient as Garfield waiting to eat lasagne. I’m extremely ambitious and always have some art project or two on the go to keep me busy. I’ve learned to embrace failure because trying opens doors and introduces me to other magnificent beings I wouldn’t have discovered otherwise – shoot for the moon, land among the stars, right?
My relationships are my oxygen. I’m an incredibly passionate and intuitive woman with so much love to give and I devote it unconditionally to my friends and family. Their love and support are what keep me motivated and inspired; I wouldn’t be me without them, and I hope my love brings the same light to their lives. “Love’s not Time’s fool” but love requires watering to keep it in bloom, so I water my relationships with quality time, communication, and touch. I will always be there for my loved ones no matter the weather to help them chase the moon for my ultimate form of happiness is to see them succeed.
If I had to choose one word to sum me up it would be sparkles: my wardrobe sparkles, my craft makes things sparkle, I embody sparkles with how I live, and I surround myself with magical creatures that sparkle so brightly they engulf the sun.
K: What is your favourite thing about yourself?
R: I love myself. I don’t mean that in an egotistical ‘look at me’ way, but in a “if you can’t love yourself, how in the hell are you going to love anyone else?” way. Never did I ever think I could look in the mirror (and naked as well!) and say, ‘I love you’ and mean it. But with a lot of discipline, resilience, and learning to focus on the things I can change, I’m here, comfortable in my own skin, and it feels so damn empowering.
I used to let society’s expectations and others’ opinions dictate how I live my life, so I felt scared to do anything that was considered against the grain, reckless, or simply lonely. Since falling for myself, I’ve been able to experience new things a younger me could only dream of. From something as simple as wining and dining myself or going on solo road trips, to shaving my luscious locks off or spontaneously buying a vintage campervan, or the greater extreme of leaving a failing engagement for the terrifying unknown or embracing my sexuality; I was not afraid because of the comfort and confidence I have found within myself. There’s so much more I am excited to experience to expand my comfort zone to places I can’t even fathom just yet, and I will because I can.
K: Tell us a story. Have you had an experience that has defined you or made you stronger?
R: The most recent story that flipped my world upside down is one I touched on – leaving a failing engagement. It was a whirlwind romance. We met only a few days before I left to travel the world for a year, but we committed to a long-distance relationship before he joined me seven months later. We settled in Melbourne to start a life together and got engaged one year later. I gave him my whole heart, I thought I was madly in love, I thought we were soul mates, but after settling into Melbourne life our relationship began to crumble.
Towards the end of our engagement year doubt started to creep in and I started questioning if he was the person I wanted to marry. Being the lover and fighter that I am, for the next year I bled myself dry to pull our relationship back from the edge, but I couldn’t stop the darkness and eventually it consumed me. For all our efforts to keep communication open, I felt unheard and unloved, I cried myself to sleep on more nights than I wish to count, and I felt a horrific kind of anger I never want to feel again.
It took nearly the whole year for me to accept that I was falling out of love. Denial was easier than the fear of the unknown and starting all over again at such an ‘old age’ (a monster of my ‘white picket fence’ mindset). But after enduring 111 hellish days of Melbourne’s lockdown 2 imprisoned with him in our tiny home I knew that anything would be better than staying with him. So, the moment restrictions eased, he moved out, and I was set free.
I’ve had a lot of time to analyse what happened, why it happened, and how to prevent myself from going through so much hurt again, but digging down to the core it’s very simple – we were completely different people who were hell-bent on finding love so we found it in each other. I had an unhealthy obsession with love, that without a partner I wouldn’t be happy nor successful, so I let it blind me.
There are countless lessons I’ve taken from this relationship, but I won’t bore you with the detail. What I will say is, as painful and hopeless as the whole experience was, I would do it all again to keep these fabulous wings I’m now rocking. I will always love love but I no longer need a partner to have it. I was blind and now I see.
K: What is one piece of advice you’d give to your younger self?
R: Stop looking to the future and live in the moment. You can’t control what life is going to throw at you nor do you know if the person you will evolve into will even want what you’re planning. Instead of getting hung up on the ‘white picket fence’, focus your ambition and heart on exploring all other facets of yourself, particularly your creative streak and quenching your thirst for travel. And when you’re ready, don’t shy away from your sexuality. Enjoy exploring all the sparks you encounter including yourself. Who knows, instead of a white picket fence you might build a diamond wall in Wonderland.
K: What does being a woman mean to you?
R: This is an odd question because being a woman is the only reality I know, so I have based it on my recent experiences becoming part of a Women’s Circle and my insatiable moments with women.
There is something deeply spiritual about being a woman, especially when in the presence of other women. I feel a connectedness that is both ancient and new, like we’re part of a power that has bonded us for thousands of years and will continue to do so long after we are gone. It’s a power I cannot comprehend but am compelled to explore, leaving no stone left unturned.
We’re this magnificent assortment of colours, each with our own palette that compliments the other, together forming a radiant prism of light. We embody strength, beauty, love, vulnerability, ambition, independence, hope, passion, sensuality, altruism, just to name a few. I’m in awe of my sisters and what we are capable of.
K: Who is one woman that inspires you? What would you say to her if she were here now?
R: My grandma was the epitome of inspiration. She had this presence that’s impossible to forget: She made heads turn when she entered a room, she knew how to tell a joke so eloquently and never failed to laugh at her own. My heart overflowed with joy hearing one boisterous laugh, and my goodness she could laugh, and she always did. She was tough love but gentle love, and she had a cheeky glimmer in her eye that said ‘I see you’ when I thought I had succeeded at hiding. She had a way of making the mundane fun, always entertaining us kids’ silly performances and games. She made my childhood the fairy tale that it was.
Grandma brought music and art to my life and soul. She sang for the whole world to hear her and I’ve never seen anyone play a piano the way she did; the way her fingers danced over those keys is the eighth wonder. She was a dedicated and talented artist, painting gorgeous landscapes that teleport me home in an instant. The clink of a paintbrush in a jar will always sound like home and the aroma of turps will forever be sweet.
Grandma, you inspired me to live my life to the fullest, to pursue passion, to find solace in music, to find peace in art, to love endlessly, and to be proud of who I am.
I love you. You will always be my sunshine.