Danielle
TW (Trigger warning) / Discussions of suicide and abuse
“Stop worrying about what everyone else may think of you, stay true to yourself and be unapologetically you because you’re a fucking shining light and you should be proud of yourself and life that you are creating.”
Despite all that she has been through, Danielle tries to not take life too seriously. She endured a tragic loss at a young age, which took a serious toll on her mental health at a time where help wasn’t widely available. Later in life, Danielle became victim to abuse. Soon the darkness took over and she didn’t know if she could escape. But with the help of her loved ones and through her own resilience, she continued to fight and even overcome. Now she is a small business owner and a new mum. She is also a survivor who is determined to thrive, both for herself, and her family and friends. She navigates life with gratitude, curiosity and a keen sense of humour. Meet Danielle. This is her story.
P: Please introduce yourself!
D: Hi! I'm Danielle but I introduce myself to most people as Danz. I'm a working mum and a small business owner newbie based in Ōtautahi, Christchurch, New Zealand. I'm currently renovating a 1950s house with my husband Jesse and together we have our wee gal Bowie who's nearly 2.
P: Describe or define yourself in your own words.
D: Loud, witty and creative. I'm happiest in a setting where there's music playing and I'm doing something with my hands whether it be making a delicious meal, creating dried floral treasures or getting messy in the garden.
P: What is your favourite thing about yourself?
D: My sense of humour and my willingness to continually learn and create.
P: Tell us a story. Have you had an experience that has defined you or made you stronger
D: I've lived a lot of my life with mental health illnesses, mild to severe depression and anxiety being the two main concerns. In the 90s we weren't really equipped with the skills and knowledge we have now to address certain situations, especially for young children. I'd lost someone really close to me when I was 6 years old and never overcome and dealt with her death properly. As I got older it got to the point where I knew I needed help because things were getting out of control, and I eventually had some counselling and started taking medication for it. But then when I finally started dealing with things in the past there came difficulties in the present, relentless sexual harassment and mentally abusive partners
My mental health in my 20s never really got better; I just eventually grew to know how to handle situations better although there were times where I was incapable of doing so. This is where the habits of oversleeping, excessive drinking and overeating came into play. It took a long time for me to understand and forgive myself for certain things. I managed to get myself off medication though which for me was a huge milestone.
The lowest point in my life in terms of depression, insecurities, and anxieties were only a few years ago. I don't use this word light heartedly, but suicide was constantly on my mind. A lot of hurtful and untruthful things were said and used against me by people I considered my closest friends and I was a lost, shell of a woman. I was incredibly fortunate to have other friends who then and now still tell me that they love me and to never change. They were vital to my turn around with my mental health, and I could never thank them enough.
It wasn't until I became a mum that I realised how important I was to not only her, but my friends and family too and that my presence on earth is important. I think to this day the fact that my life is so busy juggling lots of different things, including motherhood, employment, and small business my brain doesn't have time to sit and dwell on what it usually would. I am stronger and a lot more resilient for my past, and although it may be painful to remember it is important as it has shaped me into the person I am today and for the better.
P: What is one piece of advice you’d give your younger self?
D: Stop worrying about what everyone else may think of you, stay true to yourself and be unapologetically you because you're a fucking shining light and you should be proud of yourself and life that you are creating.
P: What does being a woman mean to you?
D: Being a woman means I have the ability to create, grow, nurture, and empower new life into this world. There is no future without women.
P: Who is one woman that inspires you? What would you say to her if she were here now?
D: Not a day goes by where I'm not thinking of my Nana Gwen. I was 6 years old when she died at 51, we were incredibly close and as I've gotten older and learnt more about her life as an adult, she inspires me to live my life to the fullest. Her life was cut far too short and she's missed out on some of the incredible things her family have achieved. We all know she's looking out for us.
If she were here I'd ask her what are the things she wished she had done and what is she grateful for, I think I know the answer anyway - oh and for a hug.