Andra
“This is all to say that you too, are so much more than what happened to you. That you are worthy of joy, love and good things and people in your life. That what happened to you is only a part of your story and you can become the source of hope and inspiration for others, through your own healing, in your own ways and time.”
Andra focuses her energy on ensuring that individuals feel safe by working to help them amend that which is broken. She does this through her role as a yoga teacher whose practice is based around healing, and as a counsellor who offers her voice and ears to those who have suffered from both family and sexual harm. She has overcome her own traumas and come to understand that you are not what has happened to you, and is determined to advocate that it is never too late to rewrite your story. Andra is a deeply compassionate soul who is devoted to living in the now, challenging the norm and welcoming the collective. She defines herself as a life long learner who believes in trusting the unknown, but most importantly trusting in yourself first. Meet Andra. This is her story.
P: Please introduce yourself!
A: My name is Andra, I was born in Romania and I moved to Canada with my mother at the age of 11 and grew up in and around Toronto. I am currently on a work visa, living in Wellington, New Zealand with my partner. My background is in social work, psychology and child and youth counselling. I am also a trauma-informed yoga teacher and mindfulness facilitator. I currently work on a national telehealth project offering digital counselling for family and sexual harm across Aotearoa.
P: Describe or define yourself in your own words.
A: I like to think of myself as someone who challenges social norms and traditions that often go unquestioned and I try to live my life as such. I have a thirst for adventure and exploring different ways of being and relating to our world and each other. I tend to be a very cerebral and analytical person, exploring things from every angle in my seeking to understand and appreciate. To balance this out, I try to connect with my body as much as possible through different avenues and bring child-like curiosity and wonder in my day-to-day living. I am a life-long learner, and have a deep appreciation of being mentally engaged; I tend to have 3 books on the go at all times. I feel most happy and at ease in nature, usually in the sun, by the ocean and I find playing and experimenting with food and ingredients deeply therapeutic. What I desire most, is a simple life, in community with others and a deep sense of belonging; first and foremost with myself.
I try to always seek the good in others, look for solutions to things that are broken or no longer working and leave people better than I found them.
P: What is your favourite thing about yourself?
A: I appreciate my inner trusting and confidence in my ability to work through whatever life throws my way. I believe that life is “figureoutable” and when I relinquish a need to control or predict, the now becomes much more freeing and alive in my mind and body.
P: Tell us a story. Have you had an experience that’s defined you or made you stronger?
A: As a child, teenager and young woman I often felt lost, abandoned, isolated, used and discarded due to complex traumas I faced as a young person. At the age of 21 I started a relationship with a young man my own age who over the years helped me to see and appreciate my own inherent goodness and worth. Through him loving me, I learned to love myself again and stand in my own power.
Fast forward 11 years later, the two of us decided to quit our well-established careers, pack up all of our belongings in Toronto, say goodbye to our friends and family and travel out of our backbacks while exploring South East Asia, before re-settling in beautiful New Zealand. This all, just before COVID-19 became a disastrous, global pandemic. We somehow managed to end up in one of the safest countries in the world who welcomed us with open arms, something we feel deep privilege and gratitude towards.
This is all to say that you too, are so much more than what happened to you. That you are worthy of joy, love and good things and people in your life. That what happened to you is only a part of your story and you can become the source of hope and inspiration for others, through your own healing, in your own ways and time. Sometimes all it takes is just one safe person, circumstance or opportunity to change our lives around.
And that it’s also ok to throw away convention, and the safety anchor from time to time, to challenge yourself to live life aligned with your own dreams, values and aspirations. You can start a new chapter at any point; there are myriads of ways life can unfold for each of us, there is no right or wrong way or set timing to go through this human experience. Give yourself permission to step into the unknown with dignity and a deep trust in yourself, it’s often where the growth and magic unfolds for many of us.
P: What is one piece of advice you would give to your younger self?
A: There’s no need to impress the outside world and simply being your true self is good enough.
Cherish and invest in people, places and experiences that feel authentic and breathe ease and joy into your life. Trust your inner compass. And it’s always ok to ask for help, you don’t have to do it alone.
P: What does being a woman mean to you?
A: Identifying as a woman, means understanding our history, culture, ancestors and the people who fought and helped paved the way for us. Using my voice, ability and resources to continue to challenge the inherently oppressive systems we exist in and shape a better way forward. Understanding the current climate and challenges many women still face today, from intimate partner violence, basic autonomy over our own bodies, reproductive rights, gender equity and intersectional feminism to name a few. It also means being able to witness and validate my own agony and despair and also celebrate the small gains and triumphs. To be able to hold a safe container for all parts of me and what it means to be human. And also to create and find community with other women and help elevate, support and sustain each other on both our individual and collective paths.
P: Who is one woman that inspires you? What would you say to her if she were here now?
A: The work and words of Audre Lorde come to mind.
“I am not free while any woman is unfree; even when her shackles are very different from my own.”
If she was here with us today I would engage in deep listening and appreciation.
I am also inspired by the young girls and women of all ages I have had the privilege to encounter in my personal and professional life. Bearing witness to their stories, their pain, suffering and injustices and the many barriers they have had to overcome and still face today. And most importantly to their small and big acts of resistance, protection and resilience. It is the invisible force that gives me the passion, courage and energy to continue to do my own, personal work and also show up with deep compassion for other women in their most vulnerable moments.
A bow of gratitude to all 365 women participating in this project and to all the women whose voices are not heard or seen. And thank you to the creative minds and women behind the scenes who make it possible for others to share parts of our narratives and womanhood.
