Vanessa
“It is an honour in this lifetime being a vessel to a womb. I am incredibly grateful that I bleed each and every month. It is a time for renewal, for release and to rest and nourish my mind, body and soul. It is a time where I gently pull away from my “to do” list and connect to myself and my tupuna (ancestors).”
Vanessa navigates live with curiosity, openness and trust. Trust which was betrayed when she bravely shared her experience with sexual trauma to an interested newspaper, who distorted her words to fit their purpose. From this point on, Vanessa decided that she would be the one to tell her story. So she started a blog. She shared her story online and eventually went on to create resources for other women who, like her, had endured sexual trauma and had their stories misrepresented. Vanessa is a champion for women everywhere, utilizing her platforms to help survivors receive justice and to empower women by normalizing conversations surrounding sexuality, motherhood, trauma, and more. She is a strong leader who, despite the obstacles she has overcome, will continue to share her experiences in order to remind other women that they are not alone. Meet Vanessa. This is her story.
P: Please introduce yourself!
V: Kia ora! I come from a place called Pawarenga, New Zealand. A place where my tupuna (ancestors) have been caretakers of this piece of land for many generations. I have many hats I wear including a mama to three boys, a wife, an entrepreneur, an embodiment facilitator, a daughter and a friend. Beyond the boxes and roles that define me I am a wahine (woman) who finds my truth by living and sharing what is true and alive for me.
P: Describe or define yourself in your own words.
V: Since I was a young girl I was always curious about people, places, language, expression, emotion, nature and the nuances of life. I've always questioned everything which can do my own head in at times but I have found that is what my gift is. To keep asking the right questions which tends to lead me to incredible people and places. I love the body I was born into and by that I mean I love that I house a womb. From my womb I have been able to birth children, a business and express myself as a creative woman. I love hearing and experiencing other people's truth and expression so I am always learning about myself. The cycle of birth, death and rebirth never ends!
P: What is your favourite thing about yourself?
V: How I honour my truth. The way I live my life and express myself doesn't exactly fit into society's mould so I love that I continue to wake up each morning and live my life to the beat of my own drum.
P: Tell us a story. Have you had an experience that’s defined you or made you stronger?
V: So many! One that sticks out is when a newspaper invited me to speak about my experience with sexual trauma.
When the article came out it completely disregarded my truth and was turned into something that would fit the newspaper's agenda. As hurtful as it was, it was a defining moment for me. I told myself "From now on I will choose to speak my own truth and not allow someone else to speak for me.”
I eventually wrote a blog, started sharing my experience on social media and over time created a resources for women who have experienced sexual trauma. An affirmation deck was birthed in my native tongue and images of Maori women.
P: What is one piece of advice you’d give to your younger self?
V: Stop giving yourself to everyone just to be liked. I was longing for attention, to be seen and to be heard. I would bypass my own needs and values just to be liked. I would put myself in dangerous situations to feed a part of me that just wanted to be seen.
P: What does being a woman mean to you?
V: It is an honour in this lifetime being a vessel to a womb. I am incredibly grateful that I bleed each and every month. It is a time for renewal, for release and to rest and nourish my mind, body and soul. It is a time where I gently pull away from my "to do" list and connect to myself and my tupuna (ancestors).
P: Who is one woman that inspires you? What would you say if they were here now?
V: My mama! Thank you for birthing me into this world. Thank you for always believing in me no matter what. Thank you for trusting me even when my ideas or direction in life sounded crazy. Thank you for being the powerful woman that you are so that I could live a life full of joy and be a true expression of my soul.