Sara
“Listen to her, be her and celebrate her even if she is not yet who she is meant to be.”
On the cusp of adolescence, Sara was told to grow up. Anything deemed childish was to be abandoned - including her imagination. The only role she was to play was that of the conformer. So she played along, finishing school and starting her climb up the corporate ladder. She attempted to fill the hole that was deepening within her with material goods, but it never worked. Then the pandemic hit, and Sara was faced with the confronting reality that she simply wasn’t happy. So she changed course. Now she has quit her job, sold her house, transitioned into a career as a life coach, and is making the move to paradise. Sara is determined to share her story to encourage other women to pursue their own dreams - not the ones chosen for them - and to embrace their imagination. Meet Sara. This is her story.
I recall it like it was yesterday, it was the day before my 13th Birthday and here I was sitting on my bedroom floor playing with my Barbie’s and other furry plushies. My friends, my imagination limitless, my happy place where I was never worried about being liked or awkward, no impossibilities existed just pure joy and wonderment when my sister, 2 years my senior, walked in and with a look of disgust said to me “when are you going to grow up, you’re going to be 13 tomorrow you can’t be playing with toys anymore” and that is the day I became the version of myself that lasted almost until I was 47. I sheepishly put all my toys into garbage bags and hide them at the bottom of my closet. The nugget of conforming was planted.
Now, I do not say that out of any bitterness for my sister, she was 15 and we both came from the same interesting background. Born and raised in Montreal, QC. Our parents divorced when I was 10 and my mother was a struggling single mother with 2 daughters to contend with and I was never the easy one.
I recall that story only as it is was a turning point in my life where I conformed to “right” behaviours even though it was not what I wanted, and if I could go back I would tell that little me to keep playing, to express every beautiful and limitless story she had in her and that it really did not matter what other people thought, the right people will get you and embrace you, just keep shining your true light for the path you are destined for will not always be understood by others.
I wish I could have gone back and heard those words, but I did not. I put away childhood and dreams and started to build a life that was invisible, conforming to what was expected of me (albeit with a few good mishaps along the way, but that is a different story). I finished school, got a good job and worked my way up the corporate ladder. By age 23 I was a lead Manager, and by 30 I was a senior Director and buying my first home, on my own.
I had not been on a vacation in years, had almost no social life and only thought my worth was based on the external goods I was able to amass. Having come from humble beginnings, when I started being able to afford groceries without counting dollars, and even more buying whatever clothes I thought were the latest fashion, I thought “this is it, I am somebody!”
Throughout the years I would have moments of breakdown where I questioned what it was exactly I was working so hard for, what was I moving towards in life outside of that next promotion? But I would appease myself with a shopping spree and tell myself it was just a phase and keep going.
Fast forward to January 2021, here I was 47 years old surrounded by lots of things; a nice house, cars, a vacation home and almost no feelings left inside of me. This time, there was no shopping spree that was going to “save” me, the fact that we were in a pandemic and the stores were closed helped that be fact more than a choice, but it was more than that this time – I could hear a whisper from deep inside me saying, this is the last time I am reaching out for you Sara…please hear me.
That voice was my true self, my spirit, my destiny….this time I was ready to listen, and the universe responded.
Having never been a fan of social media, it was a rare occurrence to find me scrolling through my feed however this one day I happened upon it and as if unbeknownst to me a divine plan was in place and I came across a 5 day challenge offering keys to becoming a thriving version of myself, to push and challenge who I was and who I wanted to be and something drove my hand to the SAVE MY SEAT button, and I signed up and I attended and everything started to change for me in those 5 days.
I think the best way to describe this start of my transformation was like waking up from having been in a long-term fog. I immersed myself and erased any and all inhibitions or negative self-talk. I wanted to change, and for the first time in a long time I was ready to acknowledge that much of what I had been trying to achieve throughout my life was not the dream I wanted, but the dream I was told everyone wanted, so if I was normal I should want that to? I didn’t though.
I had spent 25+ years building a career as a leader, coach and mentor to other people to help them surpass their limits, to grow and never stop believing in themselves, to not settle. It struck me that I was, without even knowing it, trying to save everyone I could from living a life less than extraordinary, all the while thinking I could not save myself, that my destiny and dreams were unrealistic, but gosh darn it if I could not save myself I was going to save anyone else around me I could.
Looking back, I now realize that my journey up until that point was partially my destiny unrecognized to me. To be strong for others when they needed it, to help guide people to face their fears and decimate self-doubt, and I was not about to let that part go. But I was ready to use these skills on my terms and for a true purpose outside of corporate settings. Even more liberating, I was going to live by the words I spoke and supported others so passionately in.
By April of this year, I handed in my resignation, put my city home in Toronto on the market and started building a career as a life, results and transformational coach where I could concentrate on other women whose voice was not yet strong enough within to be heard alone. I found my purpose just over the hill of my fears and insecurities and exploded into my true self.
Looking forward and diving in wholeheartedly, my husband and I have purchased a property in Dangriga Belize where we start construction by early next year on a quaint and tranquil restore and reconnect retreat where I look forward to welcoming people to take a deep breath, for many the first in possibly a long, long time and work on waking up their souls and unleashing their dreams again.
One of my biggest accomplishments through this journey truly was letting go of the need of certainty that I had become so obsessed with. I wanted to control my outcomes, have assurances in all my decisions.
For anyone who has read along this long, please head my words – certainty is the death of growth and development. Trust in yourself, trust in the process and dare to dream again and just take one small step towards who YOU want to be, not who others think you should be. Your dreams were designed for you, claim them, love them and live them!
I am here to say that it is never too late, at 47 I am rewriting my story and although many people in my inner circle were concerned about my taking the chance of leaving a solid career and security that the life I had provided, they are coming around as they see me flourish and help others do the same. My answer to anyone who says I am too old or it is too late is this – how many years ahead do you foresee, 20, 30, 40 years? Do you really want to only survive for that long? Do you want to idle through life or live it?
So, if you have been ignoring your inner whisper, I am here to let you know it is your time. Your time to shine, your time to live, your time to let go and become the woman you want to be, not for someone else, but for yourself my sister. We as women are like no other creature on earth, and we are most beautiful when we allow our true selves to come alive and shine bright. So shine brighter, brighter than you ever thought possible.