Rachel
“Sharing feelings and stories with other women is so brave and strong. It’s how we connect and grow together - combining our power.”
She approaches everything and everyone with a positive attitude and her wonderful sense of humour. She is always kind and can make you smile - no matter what. Meet Rachel. This is her story.
P: Please introduce yourself!
R: My name is Rachel Harrison, I am 27 years old.
P: Describe or define yourself in your own words.
R: I would describe myself as a funny, ambitious lady who loves to make other people laugh. I'm also quite comfortable just being by myself so sometimes I feel like a bit of a contradiction.
P: What is your favourite thing about yourself?
R: My favourite thing about myself is my humour, and my eyes.
P: Tell us a story. Have you had an experience that’s defined you or made you stronger?
R: When I was 18, I moved back to Ireland for the year to Au Pair for my aunty and uncle. They had 3 kids, one was 12, one was 9 and the youngest was 4. I didn't know where I wanted to go in life, didn't want to study, didn't know if I wanted to work so this seemed like a good idea, and I had had a really bad last year at high school with some friends that bullied me.
Going to Ireland to get out of NZ seemed like a good idea. I'd worked with kids before so thought it would be fine especially since they were family.
It ended up being one of the hardest years of my life.
I couldn't relax or try and have some time to myself because my aunty and uncle would either spring weekend or evening plans on me that meant I'd have to be in charge of the kids again, or accuse me of not wanting to be around them. If I went up into my room to call family back home or just to read a book in peace, and it was seen to them as me being rude and antisocial, when I had looked after the kids all day and when the parents got home they would ignore me anyway.
One day I took the youngest over to see our Nana, and she took me aside and said 'You're depressed'. Didn't give me any advice, didn't offer me any support, nothing. Just said it to me and then walked away. This is also coming from a lady who was a doctor for years...
I was shocked and didn't even really know what being depressed meant.
Later on in the year I was lucky enough to go overseas with my aunty, uncle and the kids for the Summer Holidays. We went to Spain which was amazing, I loved it and had so much fun. When we got back to Ireland, my aunty said we should go for a walk. During this walk she asked me if I enjoyed the trip. I said yes! Of course, it was incredible. And she said, well it didn't look like you did to me. And I asked her why that was. And she just started saying all of these awful things. Like, you just looked depressed the whole time, you're like a dark cloud that ruins the mood, even back home you just are this dark, awful presence. None of your family here want to have anything to do with you. Your aunty Lucy (who I was really close with) has said that she doesn't want to hang out with you anymore because you're such a burden. On and on. And that just broke me. I was sobbing crying because I had no idea what she was talking about, but she told me it was true and that's how people see me.
I called my aunty, crying, apologising if I had made her feel that way (which I hadn't), told my other uncle about it and he denied saying that too. I just lost all confidence in myself. If family could do that to me, then there must be something wrong with me. I had girls in highschool abandon and bully me and now family were doing it too. What was wrong with me?
I think that this situation that happened almost 10 years ago now affected my life drastically, and still to this day. Learning about why people treat you the way they do has nothing to do with who you are is still something I am trying to accept. I do know that I have grown so much from that year. That bullies are everywhere, and if you don't stand up to them, then they know you're an easy target. I also know that I am an excellent judge of character and that I need to not care if I am not friends with everyone, if I get a bad vibe then why should I pursue that friendship? It's definitely made me into a stronger person.
P: What is one piece of advice you’d give to your younger self?
R: My one piece of advice that I would give to my younger self would be... don't take small things so seriously. It is not the end of the world. Try out different things, don't EVER apologise for something that is not your fault and stand up for yourself more, you're an awesome, beautiful girl. Fuck those haters.
P: What does being a woman mean to you?
R: Being a woman to me means power. I can do anything I want, I just have to believe in myself. The best support I need, is from me. Sharing feelings and stories with other women is so brave and strong. It’s how we connect and grow together - combining our power.