Michelle
“You belong, baby girl. To yourself. To your forever family. To the land. To the universe.”
As a Sexuality & Relationships Luminary, Michelle is dedicated to destigmitising sexuality. Michelle works to liberate individuals of sexual shame and trauma so that they can develop healthy relationships with others and themselves. Her passion for pleasure started when she began pole dancing at the age of 19. This was a life she kept hidden from the rest of the world, but it gave her enormous power. It taught her to take up space and helped her realise her enormous strength. It also connected her to a strong female community and helped her overcome her own trauma. She's now an advocate and a leader, aiming to lead us out of a culture that views pleasure and sexuality as a source of shame. Michelle is courageous, compassionate, artistic, and determined. This is her story.
Photo by @whenuafilm
P: Please introduce yourself.
M: Kia ora! I’m Michelle Kasey (she/her).
I’m half Samoan, half Swiss, born & raised in Aotearoa.
I work intimately with folks of all genders, supporting them to integrate sexual shame, trauma + disconnection, so that they are free to form a liberated, pleasurable & expansive relationship with their sexual selves.
I also guide couples to form authentic, reciprocal & erotically inspiring relationships.
I love what I do. I teach what I most needed & continue to need myself.
I’m also a two time national pole dancing champion, burlesque artist, & writer.
P: Describe or define yourself in your own words.
M: I’m a deep feeler. The kind of person who is moved to tears at a beautiful view in nature.
I’m what I call a ‘pleasure slut’. I am deliberate about relating to life in a pleasurable way as a strategy to create balance & soothing, in a heady & fast-paced world.
I have an insatiable thirst to understand the human experience. I devour memoirs & books, seminars, lectures, podcasts, trainings on everything sex, psychology, somatics, & relationships.
I’m daring. I love to stretch & surprise myself, building resiliency along the way. I love to jump off high things, do anything & everything that ends in “board”, & go on intrepid journeys.
P: What is your favorite thing about yourself?
M: My artistry. The way it soulfully flows through my: body as I dance; fingertips as I write; & voice when I speak + sing.
P: Tell us a story. Have you had an experience that’s defined you or made you stronger?
M: When I was 19 years old, I secretly started pole dancing.
I told my family that I was doing ‘aerial acrobatics’. These were the days when pole dancing was incredibly underground & highly taboo.
Walking through the pole studio doors into a symphony of red lit flowing bodies & smiling faces was a powerful act of personal liberation that totally redirected the course of my life.
I was brought up to be a downward gazing, self sacrificing, “good Samoan girl” who kept anything sexual strictly behind closed doors.
Pole dancing taught me how to take up space, how to form healthy relationships with other women, & how to feel powerful + pleasureful in my own body.
These foundational lessons set the stage for me to understand trauma, pain & shame that had encased my experience of sexual pleasure for years.
Little by little, I shed these old skins & came into reconnection with my eroctic power. Realer & more exquisite than I had dared to imagine.
In my 10 years (& counting) in the pole dance community, I saw how many women & gender queer folks had come to pole seeking healing similar to my own.
Our stories & desires became the purpose & passion that later fuelled me to leave my career in employment law & HR management to become a Sexuality & Relationships Luminary.
P: What is one piece of advice you’d give to your younger self?
M: You belong, baby girl. To yourself. To your forever family. To the land. To the universe.
P: What does being a woman mean to you?
M: Access to a profound reservoir of femine power that lives within us. Inherited from the women before us. Ours to steward, grow & pass on to the women who come after us.
P: Who is one woman that inspires you? What would you say to her if she were here now?
M: Sonya Renee Taylor. I had the honour of meeting her early this year. I wish I could tell you that I was my most impressive self during our conversation. Instead, my voice was shaking, my legs were numb, & my mind temporarily went off line.
I’d like to think I said something like, “Sonya, you have my deepest gratitudes. Your compassionate & fierce leadership shows me what’s possible. Your work has been an antidote to my shame, time & time again. You teach, uplift & empower me time & time again. Thank you.”