Leah
“Losing nearly every part of myself sent me on a journey of self-love and learning to depend on myself completely. This has made me intensely happy as I can be anywhere and still content with just being on my own.”
Leah is fun-loving, compassionate, and strong. When she realised she was in an abusive relationship, she did something undeniably brave - she asked for help. Her relationship was blinding, and all-consuming, and she’s still feeling its impacts. But she’s learning to trust herself, believe herself - even when others don’t - and most importantly, love herself. Leah is someone to look up to and trust. This is her story.
Leah with her cat, Pip (her happy place)
P: Please introduce yourself!
L: My name is Leah, I’m 23 years old, from a farm at Muriwai Beach in West Auckland, and am currently in my last year of law school in Wellington.
P: Describe or define yourself in your own words.
L: Empathetic, fun, intelligent, liberal and caring.
P: What is your favourite thing about yourself?
L: How resilient I am no matter what I’m challenged with.
P: Tell us a story. Have you had an experience that’s defined you or made you stronger?
L: I was in an emotionally abusive relationship for 3 years on and off. The relationship involved cheating, lying, gaslighting etc. The works really. I completely lost myself and my head. I have always had a very good sense of what’s right and wrong but this person had gaslighted me to the point that I no longer knew what was real and what was not. This was an extremely scary and lonely feeling. It also made it more difficult that he lied about cheating on me and so a lot of people didn’t believe me and still don’t. This was extremely challenging for me in my healing as the sense of not being believed after such traumatic experiences was completely invalidating and isolating. After months of wallowing and allowing him to treat me poorly I finally reached out to my family and asked for help. They paid for me to go to therapy despite them having little to no money. I spent a year in therapy and also started anti-depressants. These two combined completely changed my life. Although the relationship was extremely traumatic and left a lot of scars, it taught me that no matter how bad things get, I will always be able to pull myself out. The relationship taught me lessons that I carry with me in every area of life, how I let my friends, partner, family, employers and myself treat me. Losing nearly every part of myself sent me on a journey of self-love and learning to depend on myself completely. This has made me intensely happy as I can be anywhere and still content with just being on my own.
P: What is one piece of advice you’d give to your younger self?
L: Don’t be too hard on yourself, life is too short. But you also need to love yourself enough to walk away from toxic relationships and you are the only one who can pull yourself out of it.
P: What does being a woman mean to you?
L: Being a woman to me is being empathetic. I think it is admirable to feel so deep and have the ability to be sensitive to other people’s needs. It is empowering that women face so many adversities but continuously fight for what is fair and just. Refusing to settle for less is part of being a woman.
P: Who is one woman that inspires you?
L: I know its cliché in New Zealand, but Jacinda Ardern. She is an extremely compassionate leader who’s focus is on people. She is every kind of leader I could ever dream of being. Assertive and compassionate. Also my mum. She is a super woman who raised 5 children, worked and kept the house and gardens in amazing shape.