Laura
“Be you. No one else. No one else’s view of you. And that ‘you’ is not a perfect concept; accept your fallibility.”
Laura is an absolute ray of sunshine. She has an incredible outlook on life, despite all the hardship she has endured. Laura almost lost her husband twice to a cardiac arrest. But she is determined to not be defined by what has happened to her. She is defined by her smile, her ability to radiate positivity no matter where she is, and by her ability to treat everyone she meets with immense amounts of compassion. She is someone who navigates life with love - love for herself, her husband, this planet, and all those who surround her. Meet Laura. This is her story.
P: Please introduce yourself.
L: Kia ora, I’m Laura. I love learning and I’m especially curious about people. I enjoy being able to share information with people to help them, including eliciting information they already have in them but didn’t realise. I also really value time to myself to let my brain hang out in my inner world.
My purpose is being my most awesome self and using my awesome to do the most awesome things I can, and supporting others to do the same.
P: Describe or define yourself in your own words.
L: I’m quirky! It’s a word that often comes up when people describe me and I like it. I have a very loud laugh, and I love to laugh. My favourite colour is orange and it’s EVERYWHERE in my life.
Definitely a word nerd. I love language and have raptures about the beauty of expression that people find. I write poetry and read a lot - I almost memorised the shampoo bottle as a child because I read it every day in the bath!
Apparently, when my niece was 5 or 6, someone used the word ‘fabulous’. She said “That’s an Aunty Laura word”. I love that she associated me with that - positivity and fun words!
P: What is your favourite thing about yourself?
L: My enthusiasm and care for others. I’m thoughtful and want to be there for my family and friends. There are lots of ways I like to show care - a message, a random card in the post, helping them figure things out, celebrating their fantastic achievements, or keeping in touch when they have important stuff going on. Another way is Xmas shopping - I want to find things that people treasure and so I start in July. Yup, July.
Photo by Karolina Stus
P: Tell us a story. Have you had an experience that’s defined you or made you stronger?
L: In 2017, and then again in 2020, my husband went into cardiac arrest and stopped breathing. Both times, thankfully, I was there and gave him CPR until the ambulance came. In 2017 he was in a medical coma for three days and I was told he may not survive, or may come out in a vegetative or brain-damaged state. He didn’t, and I’ve never been so happy to see someone wiggle their toes on request. In 2020 the paramedics managed to get him conscious at home. In the ambulance going to the hospital he asked “Is my wife there?” They said yes and he replied “I love my wife”. His heart kept stopping in the hospital too; it was surreal. He now has some pretty impressive technology implanted in his chest so this doesn’t happen again. He is my happy place, my gorgeous man.
While yes, this made me stronger, it made me less strong for a while. I had PTSD. I had been living in various states of hyper-vigilance and alert for four years. We can forget, or brush over, the fact that getting stronger doesn’t happen in a straight line.
Laura and her husband Aaron
Something I learned at the end of all of this, and only recently, was allowing events to shape me but not to define me. I am Laura, not Laura whose husband almost died twice. I am enough without a byline.
P: What is one piece of advice you’d give to your younger self?
L: Be you. No one else. No one else’s view of you. And that ‘you’ is not a perfect concept; accept your fallibility.
P: What does being a woman mean to you?
L: Being a woman means harder work than being a man, and one day it won’t be that way. So I want to do things that contribute to get us closer to that reality. I get to do that through my work in organisation development, and in my everyday life with people I meet.
P: Who is one woman that inspires you? What would you say if they were here now?
L: My friend Rhi. We’ve been friends for close to 30 years, since we were teenagers. We wouldn’t need to say much because it’s already been said or felt. Although there would be so much said because we never have a shortage of topics! She inspires me because she is a woman who has beautiful values, actions, authenticity, triumphs and struggles, an incredible brain, a joyous laugh, and she’s my amazing friend.
Brene Brown. She is so real with her positivity and her reality, and her research is important and fascinating. One of her activities really helped me narrow down my values - she says you have to get to two. Mine are kindness, and making a difference. I would want to have long and in-depth conversations with her, although first I would say thank you for being part of bringing me home to me.