Julie
“With all that said, for anyone out there experiencing grief and loss I would love to be able to use this opportunity to say hello to you!”
Julie is passionate about ensuring people feel seen, no matter where they are or what they’re going through. She is someone who grasps every opportunity, and is passionate about encouraging others to do the same. Enduring the tragic loss of her sister last year inspired Julie to undergo an initiative to support other grieving individuals. Alongside her role as a Leadership Development and Diversity, Equity, Inclusion Consultant, she has set up her own grief consultancy, where she aims to challenge the stigma surrounding grief while establishing a community where individuals, like her, feel supported and heard. She’s an enthusiastic learner, a trailblazing leader, and a resilient survivor. Meet Julie. This is her story.
P: Please introduce yourself!
J: My name is Dr. Julie Shaw. In a formal introduction I will say that I am a former professional athlete, former collegiate basketball coach who is now coaching people in different ways. Currently I am, a Leadership Development and Diversity, Equity, Inclusion Consultant. I coach leaders from athletic departments to Fortune 500 companies (www.drjulieshaw.com).
Looking back so many people would say, “have you ever though of… (which you should pay attention when people tell you this!) being a teacher?” Well, looking back I have always wanted to help others and that came through the vehicle of coaching/teaching. Also looking back I was writing papers on Title IX or the Black experience during high school. I always wanted to make people feel like they belong or that they are seen. Whether it was on the court as a teammate or a colleague in the workplace. Looking around seeing so many injustices I want to do my part to create change.
Most recently, after experiencing a great loss of my own I now am channeling this energy of inclusion to people who are grieving. I myself am grieving the loss of my sister which has been the catalyst for building out a grief community where I say hello to grief. I wanted people to see what grief truly looks like, and by sharing my story I want to give you the strength to share yours. So with that, Hello I’m Grieving was born. I am grieving and have a big vision to create a space for people to express their grief, share it, show that it comes in many forms, and have a community where they feel supported and do not have to carry their grief alone.
Grief is a topic that no one really talks about and we shy away from. Grief is also something that all of us will experience in some way shape or form in our lifetime, and for some many times over. It is also something that is looked at as very sad or taboo to acknowledge. However, I am learning that it expresses itself in so many different ways and there is no “right” way to carry your grief. At times grief and happiness can coexist.
I want to share all of these stories and experiences. I want people to know they are not alone. I want others to know that if someone is grieving it is ok to say, “hello” and talk with them. I want grievers to know that they can also say hello to grief.
With all that said, for anyone out there experiencing grief and loss I would love to be able to use this opportunity to say hello to you!
P: Describe or define yourself in your own words.
J: Multipotentialite (Here’s the link which I think you all will love).
I think this sums me up the best. That I don’t think I can say I am one thing. That I have so many interests and want to see how I can keep growing. Low key, I really think there is something great inside of me that keeps nudging me to explore different things so I can find the key to let all the greatness out. Now that may have a hint of hubris, but who are we not to think we have greatness in each and everyone of us. There is enough to go around and I have spoken with so many people to see they doubt themselves when I see greatness inside of them. So as Brene Brown says, “who and I not, to dare greatly”.
P: What is your favourite thing about yourself?
J: I have been told I try to do too much and always am involved with so many things,. I was taught that this was a bad thing or its what some people in my life have implied. However, I think this is something that I do love about myself and I believe more people are coming around to understand why it is a really great thing. It’s my favorite because I get to experience so many unique experiences, I challenge myself and discover that I can do hard things, and most of all it reminds me that we only have one life (YES YOLO) and I truly do want to make the most of it.
Why should I be limited to doing and being only one thing? Why shouldn’t I explore, discover, and reinvent myself? This world is so big and there are so many people to meet, careers to try, and I want to be able look back on my life knowing I truly lived.
P: Tell us a story. Have you had an experience that’s defined you or made you stronger?
J: Hands down the death of my sister in February 2020. My sister, Jennifer was my person. She lost her battle with Lupus (an autoimmune disease) and I watched her fight every day for not only herself but for our family. It is tough to watch anyone you love truly fight for their life. It has changed me. My grief has made me a new person and she has made me a better person. She has put life into perspective and as weak as I feel some days, I know that I have a new strength simply by reflecting on my life with her. She always thought I was a good person when I have a hard time seeing it in myself. On days when I feel like I can’t, I think about her and how strong she was for her entire life I can’t make excuses. My sister, when she was in good health and up until she passed has truly shaped who I am and I would like to believe she left behind some of her strength to me.
P: What is one piece of advice you’d give to your younger self?
J: Do it sooner! I think in our lives we wait for the right time, right place, right person. Maybe its because I am a sports person I can help but think “just do it”. Yes, I am known to be a free spirit and spontaneous at times, but there are those times when I have doubted myself, suffered from imposter syndrome, took too long planning, or kept waiting for everything to be perfect. Well, now I have learned to take those risks and believe in myself to the point where I know if it doesn’t go the way that I planned, I will always figure out a way to get to where I want to be.
So to my younger self, I would tell her stop thinking too much and just go after it, you will be ok. You will learn so much and it you wait too long so many opportunities and magnificent experiences will pass you by. Stop waiting!
P: What does being a woman mean to you?
J: Being a woman is strength. It also is oftentimes an underestimated strength. Being in the sports world I have experienced judging you, being forced to prove yourself over and over again, and at times being overlooked. Now identifying as Black, Filipino and lesbian woman this also can reflect what was just said. Through all of this, this creates determination, drives, courage, strength, and perseverance. I also find all these traits very beautiful. So being a woman is to be a powerfully resilient beauty.
P: Who is one woman that inspires you? What would you say to her if she were here now?
J: Hands down, as mentioned before, my sister, Jennifer. If she were here now I would tell her how much I love her. I would want her to know that ever since we were younger I looked up to her. That her life had an impact on me and I hope to use her life and my life to impact so many more. In the end, I would tell her how much I miss her, tell her over and over again how much I love her, and thank her for loving me.
Julie and her sister, Jennifer