Jill
“Being a woman to me means embracing my femininity without being weak or embarrassed. It means embracing every aspect of womanhood with pride.”
Jill is confident, kind, and extremely positive. She loves to immerse herself in exercise, travel, fashion, and spending time with her family; these outlets have helped her through the many hardships she has come to face over the years. After supporting her son through his heartbreaking battle with health complications, she was met with her own set of medical challenges. Although her health journey is still on-going, she continues to defy the odds and move forward with the same strength, perseverance, and unshakable optimism. Meet Jill. This is her story.
K: Please introduce yourself!
J: Hi, my name is Jill de Aguiar, I am 57 years old, I was born on 28 September 1963 in Pretoria, South Africa. I now reside on the East Rand of Johannesburg, South Africa with my husband Ivo and my two beautiful children Kelly-Marie and Donnie, 23 and 22 respectively and our four gorgeous pups. I am a Group Fitness Instructor with Virgin Active S.A. and specialise in Body Conditioning and Stretch Classes. I also teach Zen Pilates (a Virgin Active brand), Resistance Bands, Tabata and EMOMS. I work in a family run business, we have an exclusive lady's boutique in Bedfordview, Johannesburg. I love fashion, so it is a good fit for me, and I am passionate about movement and exercise and have recently started giving classes live on Zoom.
K: Describe yourself in your own words
J: I am a strong, extremely positive person, with much resilience and fortitude. I find it very difficult to feel sorry for myself. Thank goodness, I would not otherwise have coped with what I have gone through in my life. I try to find humour in most situations. I am very friendly and quietly confident, but find it a little overwhelming meeting crowds of new people, or being in a situation with lots of people I've never met before. I love to socialize with close friends and family, I love travelling and some of my best memories have been made on my travels with my beautiful family. I love animals and find cruelty in any form to animals hard to conceptualize. I enjoy looking my best, dressing well, looking after my skin and body, I have a positive self-image, I love music and dance. I am very fortunate that both my children are performers, my son a musician and my daughter a dancer.
K: What is your favourite thing about yourself?
J: My favourite thing about myself, is my ability to bounce back after adversity, my sense of humour and above all my positive attitude.
K: Tell us a story. Have you had an experience that’s defined you or made you stronger?
J: I got married at 24 years of age and at 27 gave birth to a beautiful baby boy who we named Timothy, at about the age of six months, his clinic sisters started noticing slight deficits, and so our journey began.. Shortly after that he was diagnosed with Lennox-Gastaut Syndrome, a paediatric epileptic syndrome characterized by multiple seizure types, developmental delays and regression. He was on multiple anti-convulsants and as he got older his delays became more apparent. Through it all he was an extremely charismatic, humorous shining little person, who touched so many lives in his short painful one. He went from one special school to another, as he battled to settle into a formal learning environment. We eventually kept him at home with a caregiver and regular appointments with physio's, play therapists etc... In that time, I had given birth to my daughter, Kelly and a few months later, gave birth to my son Donovan. This specific time in my life past in a blur, as I was dealing with 2 babies and Timmy who by now had stopped verbalizing, needed to be taken to the toilet regularly, and did not like wearing clothes, LOL! His behaviour was to put it mildly, often very spontaneous. Many people did not take lightly to some of his actions, as he always looked normal! Some people were unkind as they did not understand, this caused much pain, especially for Ivo my husband. I spent a lot of that time crying in despair, and my marriage took a strain.
At age 11, Timothy had brain surgery to separate the 2 hemispheres of his brain, to stop the seizures from transmitting. The op was a success for about 6 months, but then the seizures returned thick and fast. We lost him to an aneurism in May 2004. It was a tremendous shock, as we were not expecting this. I think I internalized a lot of my pain as I felt I needed to power on for my two remaining young children. My husband and I struggled. He experienced guilt, and battled to verbalize what he was going through. We were, however, always able to talk about Timmy with love and humour, and we still refer to his room which is now a study as "Timmy's room.” Oats porridge is still referred to as "Timmy's porridge.” We still talk about him all the time, with family and friends, even acquaintances as he was such an engaging, loving, amazing little soul.
Come 2011, I started experiencing weird symptoms which we later learnt were seizures. I was diagnosed with a brain tumour. After going for 2nd and 3rd opinions we were advised to have the tumour removed by the same surgeon who had operated on Timmy, who is a renowned Neurosurgeon. This was a full circle moment for me. The tumour was successfully resected in July of that year and I recovered rapidly. I was fortunate enough not to need further treatment at that time, as the histology showed the tumour to be a Grade 2 slow growing Glioma. I was very positive about my results and continued to live my life, which was wonderful, I celebrated my 50th birthday with great aplomb, and watched my children, flourish and achieve at school and after school. 5 years later after going for one of my follow up MRI's my Dr was not happy with how my tumour appeared. I started a course of Stereotactic Radiotherapy which was focused specifically on the tumour sight, I came through that experience with flying colours! I experienced little to no side effects, except for a few bouts of tiredness.
Come end March 2021, I started feeling distinctly odd, with a rapid loss of function on the left side of my body. I had my follow up MRI scheduled for 01 April. The results were shocking to say the least. My Neurosurgeon did not have good news, my tumour which is on the right frontal lobe, had grown exponentially and looked like a Grade 4 Astrocytoma, which is very serious. I was given the worst-case scenario, by a distraught Dr. If the tumour was left unattended, he gave me 2 to 4 weeks to live, with surgery which did not come without its side effects I would possibly have 6 to 12 months, with surgery and treatments possibly 2 to 3 years.
The week that followed was, after losing my son, the worst and darkest week of my life. However, I was surrounded by the most unbelievable people, family and friends who lifted me up, carried me, and supported me through this terrifying ordeal. I couldn't sleep at night and to still the dread I found myself singing songs of praise which really helped. Strangely enough the song "We are the champions" by Queen kept popping into my head. This song became my Mantra and a tribute to my champions and angels. My surgery was scheduled for a week later on 09 April 2021. (I would just like to mention that I am now with another Neurosurgeon due to circumstances.) Once again, I came out of that 4.5-hour surgery with flying colours! My surgeon claims that I have defied the odds. I can only say that I feel empowered and strong, I give all the glory to God for giving me the ability to hand it over to Him, and guiding the medical team and my surgeon.
I realised in the days leading up to my surgery, that I had no control, it was out of my hands and I handed it over to God, I felt at peace and resolved. As I write this it has been almost 4 weeks since my surgery. I have regained full function on my left side except for some minor fine motor issues. My histology reports have downgraded the tumour to a Grade 3 Oligodendroglioma which is a much better outcome than expected. My journey is far from over, as I wait to hear from the Oncologist, what my treatment plan will be. I have defied the odds once, and I will continue to do so! My experiences have made me stronger, more resolved and triumphant!
K: What is one piece of advice you’d give to your younger self?
J: I would advise my younger self to stop worrying about what other people think and to never judge another person again.
K: What does being a woman mean to you?
J: Being a woman to me means embracing my femininity without being weak or embarrassed. It means embracing every aspect of womanhood with pride. It means lifting other women up and celebrating them regardless of culture, creed, or sexuality.
K: Who is one woman that inspires you? What would you say to her if she were here now?
J: My mother is my inspiration; she has gone through tremendous adversity in her life. And has always maintained her honesty and her dignity. I would say to her "Mom you have taught me to always behave in a dignified manner, to always be honest and to always think about how my actions may impact others. I love you."