Hannah
“We are allowed to take up space, in fact we need to.”
Hannah is a badass. Despite the unfair experiences she’s had to endure, she continues to shine. Her remarkable strength and resilience is inspiring. She speaks out and doesn’t give up. She is a survivor. Meet Hannah. This is her story.
Hannah, being a badass prison guard (her happy place)
P: Please introduce yourself!
H: Hi, I’m Hannah. I’m 25 years old, I was born and raised in Wanganui. I have recently moved from Auckland where I lived for 6 years down to Palmerston North. I work as a Prison Officer.
P: Describe or define yourself in your own words.
H: I view myself as a very strong woman. I have that kind of personality that tends to exert dominance, even though it’s not something I do with intention. I think through life experiences and my job I’ve developed into someone who does things with strong intent. Someone who is present, someone who takes up space. I have that caring and softer side for people I make time for, but I’m always comfortable to speak my mind. I think it matters to be someone to stand up in a room full of people doubting you, or speak up when everyone else stays quiet.
P: What is your favourite thing about yourself?
H: Without a shadow of a doubt, my resilience. I get back up, constantly. I keep fighting, constantly. I have dealt with and seen things that people would shutter from, I use those things to make me a better person.
P: Tell us a story. Have you had an experience that has defined you or made you stronger?
H: There are so many things I can talk about. I worked in the only maximum security men’s prison in New Zealand, I saw a lot of things I never thought I would see in my lifetime.
Above all that I’d have to say what defined me was struggling with endometriosis. I moved to Auckland to study radiography and I loved it, it was my dream career.
But after a lot of complications with having to leave university twice for surgeries and missing too many placement days at the hospital I was essentially asked to leave the degree.
I was bullied so badly in school that my focus went towards my study and I defined my worth through my intelligence. When people asked what I study and I could say “medical imaging technology” it’s almost like that was where I drew my worth from. When I lost that, I felt like I didn’t know who I was. I was bed bound for months from endometriosis chronic pain, I gained so much weight and I was depressed.
Since then I’ve had 4 surgeries in 3 years, I went to Europe for 2 months, was able to buy myself a new car and in September 2020 purchased my first home, on my own. I was diagnosed with stage 4 endometriosis and rectovaginal septal disease, after 9 years of trying to convince myself and doctors that I wasn’t crazy and that there was actually something wrong with me.
I still struggle but it’s apart of me now and I’m better for it.
I may not be a radiographer but I love the fact that I’m a badass prison officer with stage 4 endometriosis, I feel like I found my niche.
P: What is one piece of advice you’d give to your younger self?
H: Stop caring about people’s opinions. If it won’t matter in 72 hours, it shouldn’t matter now. It’s ok to be a strong woman, don’t let weak men make you feel like you need to be silent. Stop having a ‘why me?’ mindset. Why not you? You are strong enough to handle everything thrown at you, plus some.
P: What does being a woman mean to you?
H: Being supportive to other women, creating a world we want our daughters to be apart of, challenging the norms in society. We are allowed to take up space, in fact we need to.
P: Who is one woman that inspires you? What would you say to her if she were here now?
H: My mother.
I tell her everyday how she is my favourite person, how much I love her.
When I was being bullied at school and I had no friends she would always tell me “I would be your best friend at school, have lunch with you every day. I can’t be at school with you but I’m still your best friend.”