Furaha
“As a woman who stands on the shoulders of all the intelligent, strong and capable women before me I have been handed the baton to pass on to the next generation of women. The lessons, the experiences they had and shared shaped the woman I am today. Because of them, I am!”
Furaha is a passionate performer and multi-talented creative. Her perspectives of the world have been irrevocably shaped by the generations before her who she has taken the proper time to listen to and learn from; this has given her the tools to welcome change and grow a deeper understanding of herself and others. She navigates life with purpose and poise, embracing each phase of the human condition with optimism and fortitude. Meet Furaha. This is her story.
K: Please introduce yourself!
F: Please allow me to introduce myself. I am Furaha Moye. I’m retired yet still actively engaged in life’s many pursuits. I am an Actor, I am a member in good standing of the Screen Actors Guild (SAG), a Photographer, a Writer, a Singer, a Tap Dancer, I read and transpose music; while these are things that I do nothing is as important as being a humane, caring, loving and perceptive human be-ing.
K: Describe yourself in your own words
F: This one is tough. How I see myself of course, is largely different than how others see me. But here it goes: By description I would say that I tend toward a wide range of adjectives. Compassionate, Motivated, Focused, Honest, Lighthearted, Anal, Impatient at times, Confident (at times), Self-effacing (at times), Creative, Humble, Gregarious. The bottom line is that I love myself, I like myself and I’m comfortable in my own skin.
K: What is your favourite thing about yourself?
F: My favorite thing about myself encompasses more than one thing. I refer to the latter in my introduction of myself. I believe in the power of positivity, faith, humanity, spirituality and the reality that the Universe is constantly conspiring on my behalf. I believe my sole mission on this planet (given that we each have a story to tell), is to share the many gifts and talents I’ve been blessed with and to understand that I am but a mere vessel for the knowledge of the Universe to flow through. For that I am truly thankful and choose to live each day with an attitude of gratitude. The prayer I leave the house with on a daily basis is: “Show me the way and help me to walk it.” I believe these things allow me to function as the best possible human be-ing I am capable of.
K: Tell us a story. Have you had an experience that has defined you or made you stronger?
F: The single most important story I can share at this age and stage is about my Mom. Ours was a relationship of many twists, turns, pauses, toxins, love, like, dislike and a host of other things that often define relationships. We often saw each other as difficult and would knowingly and unknowingly manipulate each other. At the end of the day though, I was clear that I loved her and in turn I was loved.
I was blessed enough to have had my Mom for 68 years of my life. In that time she richly enhanced the quality of my life and clarified my understanding of how to be in it. She was a very simple, yet complicated woman on a mission. Her family was how she defined her life. She’d only attended school until 3rd grade but to talk with her you’d never imagine she’d not graduated from college. She provided every single thing I needed and an awful lot of what I wanted. I was living a charmed life though I often couldn’t see it and would push back on her best efforts. I went to private schools, had piano lessons, ballet lessons, member of the YWCA, Girl Scouts, summer camps, vacations, nice clothes, school uniforms, parties, allowances and more. I always knew more than she did! Little did I know until much later in life just how wrong I was.
My Mom was also an exceptionally beautiful woman; I often referred to her as being “bright and shiny” because of her sparkling personality, effervescence and pure charm. When she walked into a room she didn’t have to open her mouth; heads turned. Her unconditional love for me defined my life from the time I was a little girl but it took her getting ill and needing care for me to fully grasp the woman, my Mother was and how she nurtured, shaped and molded me.
As she aged I was aware of the change in her condition. She was diagnosed with Dementia and Congestive Heart Failure and needed to be in a Nursing Home. Watching this strong, vital, independent, intelligent, beautiful woman decline and slip away from any thing and every thing she ever knew, understood and was shook my very being to its deepest core. In that understanding of where my Mom was, it crystallized where I needed to be. It became crystal clear that I had an imperative to navigate the health care system to best protect my Mom to insure she got the care she so richly deserved and was never abused.
I saw how frail she was becoming, I felt how deeply sad it made me. I was aware of the times I had to leave the room because I couldn’t fight back the tears. Protecting my Mom in her most challenging life’s moments is singlehandedly the most important thing I’ve experienced in this life thus far. During this time I really understood that it wasn’t about me! It was at this time I became aware of just how deeply I loved my Mom and that our differences existed only because we were so much alike. She needed me to be strong for her, to protect her, to shower her with love. I took full advantage of the final years of her life and for that I remain grateful to have been provided with the necessary fortitude, patience, wisdom and love to see it through. I pray that she knew I was there and that she was loved.
K: What is one piece of advice you’d give to your younger self?
F: The advice I’d share with my younger self would be to fully embrace life without fear.
I would tell myself to be more still, more observant, more receptive and more open. I would tell myself to listen to understand rather than listen to respond. Life’s experiences are all about the lessons. Pay attention to the lessons so you can apply them and avoid making the exact same steps that take you backward rather than forward. It is all about love, growth and happiness. “Youth is truly wasted on the young.” It has taken me the majority of my life to understand the value of the elders, the sages, the ancestors. They knew, they know! Listen.
K: What does being a woman mean to you?
F: Being a woman is a responsibility I meet with all the deliberation and determination it deserves. As a woman who stands on the shoulders of all the intelligent, strong and capable women before me I have been handed the baton to pass on to the next generation of women. The lessons, the experiences they had and shared shaped the woman I am today. Because of them, I am! Anything I choose to do, I can do. I have options as a woman that my elders and ancestors didn’t have yet knew were critical so they fought for those options. I am a product of that heritage. “To whom much is given, much is asked.”
K: Who is one woman that inspires you? What would you say to her if she was here now?
F: My Mom is the woman who has inspired me the most. She was a single parent with no education raising two children in public housing in the 1950’s. While she didn’t have an education, she was quite clear that her children would. She had a strong work ethic, she was honest, she read voraciously, she was stylish, modest, beautiful, humble, well travelled, loved art, loved music (especially classical), she was generous, creative, she could sew, she painted, she was well written, loving, compassionate, she had a great sense of humor, she was a Christian woman without being heavy handed, family oriented, she was an amazing chef and absolutely loved doing things for other people because it made her feel good too. She believed fully in living life for this day as the next isn’t promised. If I could be a tenth of the woman my Mom was I would’ve accomplished something in this life. And if she were here now I would still be thanking her for choosing me! Even though she physically left in 2017 at 94, she is ever present and informing my life each and every day with the life affirming spirit that represented who she was and remains in my soul.