Frankie
TW (Trigger Warning) / Eating disorders
“We’ll always be a bit of a mystery, but that’s part of the joy of relationships – peeling back the veils on one another, on ourselves.”
At the age of 30, she’s faced her fair share of heartbreaks and hardships. She endured an eating disorder in her teens and a divorce in her twenties. But now at 30, Frankie is closer to and more in tune with herself than ever. She’s learned to listen to her heart and appreciate her body. Frankie is brave, compassionate and remarkably wise. In her professional life, she is a passionate communicator who works to increase the accessibility of science and the representation of underrepresented scientists. In her personal life she is a loyal friend who makes time for everyone around her. She is always up for an adventure, a challenge or an opportunity to enact some change. Meet Frankie. This is her story.
P: Please introduce yourself!
F: I go by Frankie, Fran, or Frances, depending on where or when we meet! The way I introduce myself has morphed with my identity, but I’m learning to inhabit these expressions of my personality.
Growing up as the youngest of three in Glasgow, Scotland, I was known as Fran or Franny (‘Franny-love’ at home if I’d done something really bad.) My teenage years at an all-girls school in England were spent as Frank or Frankie; we gave each other gender fluid names to escape the claustrophobia of all that oestrogen. I reverted back to Fran/Frances for my undergraduate days, where I met my now-ex-husband - so that name lingered throughout our seven year relationship. On breaking up and moving out and settling back in Glasgow, I morphed back into Frankie, perhaps in an attempt to channel my independent youth. Now, at the age of 30, I’m feeling demonstrably less youthful, but increasingly at peace with all the versions of myself.
P: Describe or define yourself in your own words.
F: I spent a lot of time with this question in my twenties – interrogating who I am, or who I ought to be. Growing up in a Christian household then getting divorced at 26 posed a unique challenge my sense of self. These days, I try to approach the question with gentleness, and curiosity. We’ll always be a bit of a mystery, but that’s part of the joy of relationships – peeling back the veils on one another, on ourselves.
I’ve always enjoyed learning from questions and answers, which led me first into a very unsuccessful career as a scientist, and then into a far more suitable role as a science journalist. These days, I’ve found a weird and wonderful role in a global science organisation, and I feel incredibly fortunate to be living in Wellington. I lead a very ordinary life: playing sports (well, ultimate frisbee), cooking meals, volunteering in an op shop. And at long last, I can say I’m satisfied.
P: What is your favourite thing about yourself?
F: I’ve wrestled with my hair (or lack thereof) since early childhood, but I’ve finally reached a style which feels right on my own face. I’d like to say I use the time I save with shorter hair in some form of productive endeavour…but we all have room for growth.
P: Tell us a story. Have you had an experience that’s defined you or made you stronger?
F: When I was 16, I developed anorexia. Slowly, but surely - then a deep dive, suddenly, into the void. I was very lucky to receive good care, with the support of a loving family, so the weakness that I felt in those dark months gave me the strength to recover and move on. But the knowledge of that darkness, and its misery, still shapes me. I have a much richer appreciation of my body, of my family, and of every meal I eat, as a result.
P: What is one piece of advice you’d give to your younger self?
F: Try not to be in such a rush to make all the ‘right’ choices. Sitting with uncertainty can bring us so much clarity in time.
P: Who is one woman that inspires you? What would you say to her if she were here now?
F: My godmother Elspeth died when I was a teenager, but her passion for living and moving and having her being continues to inspire me every day. If she was here, now, this morning, I would say a long overdue thank you - and ask her if she fancied a game of frisbee. She would almost certainly say yes.
