Chrystal
“My womanhood has been inextricably linked to providing care to others, first as a sister, then as a mother, then as an Auntie. Being a woman is to be strong and made of stuff tougher than one can imagine.”
Chrystal is a multifaceted leader and an advocate for Indigenous communities, proudly representing the Pikwàkanagàn First Nation. Her leadership roles range from social services to social justice initiatives, using her voice and past experiences to assist and educate others. Having undergone great hardship from an early age, inclusive of generational trauma and domestic violence, she is dedicated to providing other Indigenous community members with resources and services focused on wellness, healing, and traditional teachings. As a survivor and protector, she has forged a path of imperishable resilience. Meet Chrystal. This is her story.
October 2020 CBC news article headshot by Rory Toop Photography
K: Please introduce yourself!
C: Hullo! Chrystal Toop nidijinikaz, makwa indodem. My name is Chrystal Toop and I am bear clan. Bear clan members often work as healers in the community and I do this as an Indigenous Counsellor, Registered Social Services Worker, Indigenous Life Spectrum Doula, social justice worker, author, community builder, matriarch, and wife. I live on my Omamiwinini ancestral territory in the Ottawa Valley.
A Sociologist and alumni of Carleton University, in the spring I embarked on a Masters in Adult Education at St. Francis Xavier University and will launch the virtual Blackbird Medicines' Indigenous Death Doula Online Training & Certification program in the fall.
K: Describe yourself in your own words
C: Overall, I am a strange blend of introvert/extrovert. I have always sought out and revelled in the strange, weird, different, unusual and niche. All these words mean special to me and I continuously find myself embracing the unknown. Mostly a homebody with passions for research, I appreciate time with my family, in my gardens, on the land and by water. My extrovert side pushes me to honour my ability to speak in public with confidence and clarity, to pursue community healing justice. I am a life-long student and entrepreneur with an adventurer’s heart and hope to see more of the world with my husband once it is safe to travel again.
K: What is your favourite thing about yourself?
C: My favorite thing about myself is my creativity. There is always a use for creativity whether artistic in nature, exhibited through innovation, or analysis and critical thought. I feel this manifesting when I detach myself from specific paths and perspectives of benefits and drawbacks.
K: Tell us a story. Have you had an experience that’s defined you or made you stronger?
C: A proud member of the Pikwàkanagàn First Nation, I have a family history of wisdom and resilience, from my great grandparents who survived residential schools, to myself who overcame youth homelessness, teen pregnancy, criminalization, domestic and family violence, to share insights as a sought after Indigenous Rights Advocate, Guest Speaker, Panelist, Facilitator, Consultant, and owner/operator of the social enterprise, Blackbird Medicines.
I find it impossible to separate my triumphs from my challenges and in 2014 when I was diagnosed with Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD), my life ground to a halt. I began to unpack all that I had survived, simultaneously struggling to complete my degree, working four part time jobs and supporting my kids who were going through severe bullying among other challenges at school.
Though I had a diagnosis for what I was struggling with, I couldn’t find support as a woman with CPTSD- who was not in the armed forces- and continued to struggle with my children for wellness, food and housing security. Employed as a social service worker, I felt ashamed of how mentally ill I felt and struggled with the guilt of parenting my children with PTSD symptoms, wishing for someone to watch them so I could address my mental health and extreme burnout.
Fearful of losing my kids to the child welfare system since they were born, I faced the need for change and refocused on my culture, praying to my ancestors, my grandmother in particular, developing my own spiritual practice as an Anishinaabekwe. This spiritual practice combined with mental health care from my family doctor provided me the clarity to focus on my family’s wellness and nothing else. I took the summer off from school, stopped accepting on-call shifts and began an intense time of self-care, fully engaging my children in a family healing process through homeschooling and wellness practices.
The difficulty of those years will not easily be forgotten by my children or myself. Though it was only one of the solid blocks of hardship in the course of my little family’s story, it reinforced confidence that we can do hard things and overcome daunting obstacles. If it hadn’t been for my children and the drive I felt to be better for them, I don’t know if I would have been as relentlessly ambitious. Looking back, I am grateful to be an example of my family’s resilience today.
Plantcestor Healing Workshop, 2019 photo by Rory Toop Photography
K: What is one piece of advice you’d give to your younger self?
C: One piece of advice for the younger me is hard to decide on because I went through so much crisis from a young age. This is something I have thought about a lot as a parent of Indigenous young people. Don’t be scared to trust what you know is right and wrong. As a person who had to break away and learn from unhealthy relationships, the younger me suffered a lot and didn’t have the life experience to understand that loved ones shouldn’t cause harm, wreak havoc, or place conditions on their support and love. People who have your best interests at heart will not ask you to sacrifice your wellness, or your children’s wellness.
K: What does being a woman mean to you?
C: My womanhood has been inextricably linked to providing care to others, first as a sister, then as a mother, then as an Auntie. Being a woman is to be strong and made of stuff tougher than one can imagine.
Aunties on the Road Indigenous Doula Collective, 2018 Training Cohort
K: Who is one woman that inspires you? What would you say to her if she were here now?
C: My grandmother inspires me, in the way that she offered unconditional care to her family, while role modeling a ‘zero effs given’ attitude. She was respected and known for being direct and reliable, soft hearted and ready to speak out. Some of these qualities come more naturally to me than the others but I continue to strive to emulate all of them. I wrote about my grandma in my chapter for the “Bold Spirit, Caring for the Dying” and I often feel her presence, love and protection as she watches over me from the Spirit realm. If she were here now, I would say to her that I love her and miss her all the time and that I am grateful for the gifts she passed on.
Visit Chrystal’s website Blackbird Medicines for more information & resources.