Bernyce
TW (Trigger warning): Discussions of abuse
“Womanhood is growth, confidence, patience, love, sharing unconditionally, listening without judgement, being sensitive objectively, having no fear of own sexuality and more importantly TAKING CARE OF SELF.”
Bernyce has survived the unimaginable. Born and raised in the United States, she grew up at the time of severe racial segregation. She was soon introduced to the Civil Rights Movement and became an active demonstrator and voice in the fight for equality. Though she was working to combat the hate which surrounded her, the hate within her was strengthening. She began to blame herself for her own misfortunes. This self doubt only worsened when she became victim to repeated abuses. But despite everything, Bernyce persevered. She came to see that she was not the problem, but the oppressive systems which surrrounded her were. Her voice in the fight for justice became increasingly recognised, as did her undeniable beauty. Now Bernyce is an advocate, a mentor, and a fashion model, who working to realise her own power. She is a courageous fighter, with a fabulous sense of style. Meet Bernyce. This is her story.
P: Please introduce yourself!
B: Greetings, I'm Bernyce C. Mills-DeVaughn, 73 yrs young, was born in Norfolk, Virginia during the time of segregation in the southern United States and lived to endure it and all of its ugliness. I was introduced to the Civil Rights Movement in the early 60's by my older sister who was the secretary for the NAACP Youth and College chapter in Norfolk.
My family relocated to Pennsylvania in 1964 where I continued my involvement in protest marches. During this time I had the great opportunity to meet and associate with many of the Black Power Movement Leaders of that time. As time changed most folks of that period went through different organizational changes as well for example....from Black Power Movement to Afrocentric to Nation of Islam or other Islamic sects to Christianity to Corporate America to Continued Educational goals to Marriage and family. It was an interesting time!
P: Describe or define yourself in your own words.
B: WOW…I grew up the middle daughter of four siblings, with a very low/poor self image and was an introvert's introvert. Most times I saw myself as overweight, very shy and only got C's and D's in school so fearful to ask for help. Was sexually abused as a young child and again as a teenager. Needless to say, I did not receive the proper therapy required to heal both emotionally and mentally.
Because of that I grew up believing I was not worthy, I thought I was at fault for those bad things that had happened to me. Growth and belief in self takes time with lots of practice and patience to achieve.
P: What is your favourite thing about yourself?
B: I have patience, and am very diplomatic when dealing with very sensitive issues that could harm another person. I've discovered my smile is very pleasant and I'm not the ugly duckling that I grew up believing that I was. I'm in a good place but still a little shy.
P: Tell us a story!
B: While visiting the National Museum of African American History and Culture in Washington, DC. I met some students from California State University at Channel Island. We talked about my involvement in the Civil Rights Movement and the EMMY that I'd received from the National Academy of Arts and Science. I was then invited to come out and speak, presenting my pictorial history as well. I was so excited, the flight was good and the weather was great. Upon arriving at the campus and before giving my presentation, unfortunately, a forest fire had started near the campus. The school went on Red Alert and all students were dismissed, which meant traffic leaving the campus was going to be awful. The Dean of students who I was riding with said she knew a shortcut and of course the road was filled with heavy smoke and flying hot timbers. As we drove through I was so scared, but she kept assuring me that we'd be alright and we were.That's not an experience I'd want to face again.
P: What’s an experience that has made you stronger?
B: There are two - but I will be brief…
1) When I was asked to be a model while in the Nation of Islam and then the opportunity to do for the Leader the Honorable Eman Wallace D. Muhammad (RIP) who was in Chicago, ILL, and appear in the Nation of Islams newspaper and again on local Billboards in Philadelphia.
2) When the first lady of my church (Pastor's wife) requested that I become a discipler (mentor) to both married and single women and this lasted for close to 20 years.
P: What is one piece of advice you’d give your younger self?
B: First, I'd tell her she's not responsible for the horrible things that happened to her and give her lots of hugs. Also tell her that Mama and Daddy loved her as much but sometimes expressing it was very hard for them, especially Daddy. I'd tell her she was smart, beautiful and funny in her own way. I'd want her to keep dreaming and to do all in her power to make them happen, no matter what obstacles come her way. That she is to be her own BEST SUPPORT SYSTEM. And most importantly she needs to know that, SHE'S LOVED.
P: What does being a woman mean to you?
B: I found this quote on a print I purchased in the 1990's: "I will ALWAYS hold my Head High in REVERENCE to the journey into the ENLIGHTENED spirit of WOMANHOOD and vow to lead my Loving spirit in SUPPORT of those who will follow ME."
Womanhood is growth, confidence, patience, love, sharing unconditionally, listening without judgement, being sensitive objectively, having no fear of own sexuality and more importantly TAKING CARE OF SELF.
P: Who is one woman that inspires you?
B: My MUM (RIP) who was legally blind due to surgery that was done on her eyes as a teenager, that never stopped her from accomplishing the things she felt important to her and encouraged me to do the same. She was my greatest fan and support in whatever I set out to do, whether it was theatre or modelling.
The other was Ms. Margaret Carden (RIP), she was the Founder and Director of Jewel Model Agency. She helped me see the beauty inside of me, helped to bring out the outward shine and attractiveness that was hiding inside of me. I was introduced to Top Fashion Models, Famous Musicians, and Boxing Champ Muhammad Ali. I also had the opportunity to be a coordinator of the 1977-78 Miss Black America Pageant in Philadelphia and Co-Editor of a Model's Directory which was founded by J. Morris Anderson of the Miss Black America Pageant.