Ally
“Being a woman is feeling pretty in whatever the fuck makes you feel prettiest and putting yourself first even if it appears ‘selfish’ or ‘dramatic’.”
Ally is an all around ray of sunshine, who is always full of smiles, laughter, kindness and fun. She leads with positivity, a strong work ethic and an open mind. Ally is also someone who has experienced heartbreak; she has felt broken and lost, but she has come to discover her own strength and power. Now she is working on the most important relationship - the one with herself. Meet Ally. This is her story.
P: Please introduce yourself!
A: Hi hi! My name is Ally Jackson and I am a 22 year old living and working for a media company in the sunny Hawke's Bay.
P: Describe or define yourself in your own words.
A: I would describe myself as bubbly, determined and kindhearted. I like to see the best in people and always see the glass as half empty (even when it's empty hehe).
P: What is your favourite thing about yourself?
A: My favourite thing about myself is my ability to be kind and generous to the people in my life. Investing in the people around you is so important and I value that I keep that a priority.
P: Tell us a story. Have you had an experience that’s defined you or made you stronger?
A: I didn't have the easiest childhood. My Dad was hard on me as a kid and he struggled with addiction for a lot of the time I lived at home. My parents split when I was at an age old enough to remember it but not understand it.
Their divorce was something I never fully confronted until I reached my early 20s and it was only then that I realised it had affected so much of how I viewed love and relationships. I craved male validation in every area of my life and entered a pretty intense relationship when I was half-way through my last year of high school. It quickly became toxic and I completely lost myself. When that relationship ended it was the biggest turning point in my life for multiple reasons. Not only had I lost someone who I had loved, but I was also experiencing all those same emotions of rejection and loss I had experienced as a kid. It was hard for my brain to cope with. Therapy helped me understand the reasons I chose toxicity over proper love and gave me strategies to purposefully pursue relationships that were only going to choose me and chose to love me with love I deserved. That meant actively learning to love myself and value myself enough to welcome that into my life.
I don't think we can change much of what happens to us as kids but we can change how we live our lives as adults. We always have a choice to become better people, not only for our relationships or future ones but for ourselves too. Knowing what you deserve is so empowering. It gives you the freedom to choose where to put your energy and invest in what encourages, uplifts and grows you as a woman.
P: What is one piece of advice you’d give to your younger self?
A: I would let her know that trying to earn love is a twisted game. We are always enough and deserving of love. The people that are supposed to be in your life will love you, despite your success or jean size. Trust me. Eating that snickers doesn't matter as much as you think it does girl!
P: What does being a woman mean to you?
A: Being a woman to me is being confident in who you are, unashamed of the times we mess up or act 'crazy' or 'unfeminine'. Being a woman means standing up for what is valuable to you and your happiness. Being a woman is feeling pretty in whatever the fuck makes you feel prettiest and putting yourself first even if it appears 'selfish' or 'dramatic'. Being a woman to me is being yourself and being proud of it.
P: Who is one woman that inspires you? What would you say to her if she were here now?
A: The woman that inspires me the most is my Mum. She's been burnt more times that I could count and she still picks herself up everyday and chooses to see the beauty in every situation. She gives so much of herself to people and she's not afraid to love unconditionally even though it's been disregarded before. My mum knows it's always worth it to be kind to everyone even if they haven't shown you the same in return.
She knows I love her very much but I think if she was here right now I would tell her how lucky I am to have her. She is my image of what it looks like to be a strong and independent woman - full of grace and full of class.